As a working mama, there’s a good chance you’re dealing with a fair amount of guilt. As women in real estate, we don’t tend to talk about working mom guilt much. Nonetheless, I’ve received numerous Facebook messages on the topic. Messages usually start out asking me how I handle guilt and quickly progress into a painful story.
My Story
I have four children and I can tell you from my own experience: the struggle is real. I worked hard to become a top agent. At the start, I made a lot of mistakes, but, by modeling myself after others in the field, I was able to become very successful. In a short amount of time, I went on to manage three different real estate offices and recruit more than 800 agents. I’ve also been invited to speak at events all over the country.
Although I achieved my goal of becoming a top agent and even a top team leader, I didn’t feel like a top mom for a long time. In fact, both my health and my home life started suffering. I had to take a hard look at my priorities. This led me to structure my business and my life differently — to reflect the kind of mom I wanted to be for my kids.
Everything changed for me starting that day. But it didn’t just happen overnight — nothing great in life happens by chance. It took thoughtful planning with plenty of failures along the way. I’m still constantly counterbalancing my life and work.
The good news is that there is a roadmap. These six tips will help you overcome your feelings of mom guilt and allow you to win in business without losing in life.
Although I achieved my goal of becoming a top agent and even a top team leader, I didn’t feel like a top mom for a long time. In fact, both my health and my home life started suffering. I had to take a hard look at my priorities. This led me to structure my business and my life differently — to reflect the kind of mom I wanted to be for my kids.
Everything changed for me starting that day. But it didn’t just happen overnight — nothing great in life happens by chance. It took thoughtful planning with plenty of failures along the way. I’m still constantly counterbalancing my life and work.
The good news is that there is a roadmap. These six tips will help you overcome your feelings of mom guilt and allow you to win in business without losing in life.
Set Boundaries — and Stick to Them
Decide what your work hours will be and communicate them clearly to your clients. Mention them in your voicemail message, state them in your email signature, and even include them in the automated Facebook messenger response for your business page. If you don’t set and communicate clear boundaries, your clients are going to set your working hours for you.
In addition, you need to have someone you can rely upon to support you whenever an emergency crops up outside your business hours. Issues are more common when you’re helping buyers than anything else, especially when listing inventory is low and time is of the essence.
One way to cope with emergencies is to have a showing assistant on standby. After all, you don’t need to be the person who opens the doors to a new listing to be a great agent.
In addition, you need to have someone you can rely upon to support you whenever an emergency crops up outside your business hours. Issues are more common when you’re helping buyers than anything else, especially when listing inventory is low and time is of the essence.
One way to cope with emergencies is to have a showing assistant on standby. After all, you don’t need to be the person who opens the doors to a new listing to be a great agent.
Block Your Calendar
Your calendar is a direct reflection of your priorities — and you need to stick to it. For example, I put God and family before business. This means time for family is actual appointments on my calendar. You could time block weekly activities for your kids, such as for games, sports, or vacations. This can even be 10 minutes of uninterrupted time at night for each of your kids. Put your phone away and be truly present.
Remember, realtors burn out once per quarter. And if you’re feeling burned out, your kids are feeling it, too. Time blocking some self-care and vacation time for yourself and your spouse without the kids is also important.
The irony is that the more disciplined you are with your time blocking, the more freedom you’ll have. It may not come naturally at the beginning, but practice makes better.
Once a mentor asked me, “If I were to look at your calendar, what would it show me is your top priority?” Take a look at your calendar and ask yourself the same thing.
The irony is that the more disciplined you are with your time blocking, the more freedom you’ll have. It may not come naturally at the beginning, but practice makes better.
Once a mentor asked me, “If I were to look at your calendar, what would it show me is your top priority?” Take a look at your calendar and ask yourself the same thing.
Outsource Your Life
By outsourcing your life, you can have more family time. Studies show that realtors spend only 40 percent of their time on sales, whereas 60 percent is some form of admin work.
If you could give up some (or even all) of that 60 percent, what would you be able to do with all the extra time? You could have more time with your kids, you could take more vacation — and you’d still take your business to the next level. Plus, you’d probably enjoy your work a whole lot more if you weren’t bogged down with all that admin work.
Use sites like Upwork, Brickwork India, Fiverr, or others to start outsourcing your admin tasks. Don’t forget to cover aspects of your personal life, too, like grocery shopping and housework.
If this is a new concept to you, read The Four-Hour Workweek by Tim Ferriss. I can guarantee that, when you start delegating tasks, you’ll see your life change.
If you could give up some (or even all) of that 60 percent, what would you be able to do with all the extra time? You could have more time with your kids, you could take more vacation — and you’d still take your business to the next level. Plus, you’d probably enjoy your work a whole lot more if you weren’t bogged down with all that admin work.
Use sites like Upwork, Brickwork India, Fiverr, or others to start outsourcing your admin tasks. Don’t forget to cover aspects of your personal life, too, like grocery shopping and housework.
If this is a new concept to you, read The Four-Hour Workweek by Tim Ferriss. I can guarantee that, when you start delegating tasks, you’ll see your life change.
Establish Your Support Team
Your support team (or, as I like to call it, your community) is a mom squad: a supportive group of moms who are all facing the same struggles. Seek out positive role models and mentors who can lift you up.
I also include my own kids in my support community, and you can do the same. Communicate your goals to them to get everyone on board as a family. Tell your kids what it will mean for them when you reach your goals. You could even create a vision board to generate excitement about your milestones. Make sure to celebrate together each time you reach a new one.
I also include my own kids in my support community, and you can do the same. Communicate your goals to them to get everyone on board as a family. Tell your kids what it will mean for them when you reach your goals. You could even create a vision board to generate excitement about your milestones. Make sure to celebrate together each time you reach a new one.
Lead Generate
Your support team (or, as I like to call it, your community) is a mom squad: a supportive group of moms who are all facing the same struggles. Seek out positive role models and mentors who can lift you up.
I also include my own kids in my support community, and you can do the same. Communicate your goals to them to get everyone on board as a family. Tell your kids what it will mean for them when you reach your goals. You could even create a vision board to generate excitement about your milestones. Make sure to celebrate together each time you reach a new one.
I also include my own kids in my support community, and you can do the same. Communicate your goals to them to get everyone on board as a family. Tell your kids what it will mean for them when you reach your goals. You could even create a vision board to generate excitement about your milestones. Make sure to celebrate together each time you reach a new one.
Separate Yourself from People Who Cause Your Guilt
There are always going to be some people who leave you feeling guilty, whether they’re doing it consciously or not. Refuse to buy into these guilt mongers.
If you can’t get away from these people, look at things from their perspective — because it’s rarely about you. Maybe these guilt mongers would love to go back to work but can’t. In these cases, you’re actually causing feelings of guilt in them.
If you are the one making yourself feel guilty (which is usually the case for me), remind yourself that everyone has to face these challenges. For instance, if you’re comparing your parenting skills with those of moms on Instagram, remember that what you see on social media isn’t reality. All of us only post our highlight reel — none of us truly know what we’re doing! We’re all just doing the best we can.
Cut yourself some slack and recognize that the parenting process includes failing sometimes. That’s okay; your child doesn’t need you to be a perfect human being 24/7. And let me tell you something: you are more than enough. You’re already doing a great job.
If, like me, you get off track from time to time, just remember these six practical steps. They’ll help you get your priorities straight again.
If you can’t get away from these people, look at things from their perspective — because it’s rarely about you. Maybe these guilt mongers would love to go back to work but can’t. In these cases, you’re actually causing feelings of guilt in them.
If you are the one making yourself feel guilty (which is usually the case for me), remind yourself that everyone has to face these challenges. For instance, if you’re comparing your parenting skills with those of moms on Instagram, remember that what you see on social media isn’t reality. All of us only post our highlight reel — none of us truly know what we’re doing! We’re all just doing the best we can.
Cut yourself some slack and recognize that the parenting process includes failing sometimes. That’s okay; your child doesn’t need you to be a perfect human being 24/7. And let me tell you something: you are more than enough. You’re already doing a great job.
If, like me, you get off track from time to time, just remember these six practical steps. They’ll help you get your priorities straight again.
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